Whole Wide World
by Captain-Preset-Hawke
Summary: Heavily based on "Stranger than fiction" starring Will Ferrell. Except this time the main character is Marceline.


_**This is a story about a young woman Marceline Abadeer. And her wrist watch.**_ The wrist watch rang, signaling the time Marceline usually woke up, it glowed red amidst the dark room.

 _ **Marceline was a woman of infinite numbers, endless calculations; and remarkably few words. And her wrist watch, said even less.**_

 _ **Every week day, for 12 years, Marceline would brush each of her 32 teeth, 76 times. 38 times back and forth, 38 times up and down. Every week day, for 12 years, Marceline would tie her tie in a single Windsor knot instead of the double, thereby saving up to 43 seconds. Her wrist watch thought the single Windsor made her neck look fat; but said nothing.**_

Marceline wore her coat, dusting off her shoulders with a brush before heading out of the door, locking it behind her.

 _ **Every week day for twelve years, Marceline would run at a rate of nearly 57 steps per block, for 6 blocks, barely catching the 8:17 bus. Her wrist watch would delight in the feeling of the crisp wind rushing over its face.** _ The woman held a red apple between her teeth, before riding the bus right before it closed its door and took off.

 _ **And every week day, for twelve years Marceline would review 7.134 tax files as a senior agent for the internal revenue service.**_ A job she was forced to study for by her father, in fear that she would starve or go homeless, he sacrificed her hobbies and preferences to provide a "decent future", as he liked to say.

"Marceline, 89 times 1417?" one of her co-workers asked, she was quick to answer with "126113" having had remarkable math skills ever since she was a child.

 _ **Only taking a 45.7 lunch break, and a 4.3 minute coffee break, timed precisely by her wrist watch. Beyond that, Marceline lived a life of solitude. She would walk home alone. She would eat alone. And precisely 11:13 every night, Marceline would go to bed alone. Placing her wrist watch to rest on the night stand beside her, that was of course, before Wednesday. On Wednesday, Marceline's wrist watch, changed everything.**_

 _ **If one had asked Marceline, she would've said that this particular Wednesday was exactly like all the Wednesdays prior. And she began it the same way she-**_ Marceline paused while brushing her teeth, she pulled the brush out of her mouth slowly, glancing behind her, before she put it in her mouth again. "And she began it the same way she always did." Marceline took the brush out of her mouth again, looking at it strangely, "Hello?" she directed at the brush, but naturally-It didn't reply.

 _ **She began it the same way she always did, when others' minds would-**_ "Hello is someone there?!" Marceline whipped around, looking around the room frantically for...something.

She went back to brushing her teeth when she heard the voice speaking again, _**When others' minds would fantasize about their out coming day or even try to grip onto the final moments of their dreams, Marceline just counted brush strokes.**_

"Alright who just said Marceline just counted brush strokes? and how do you know I'm counting brush strokes?" Marceline asked "Hello?" she looked behind her again, before rinsing her mouth of toothpaste and heading off to change into her suit.

 _ **It was remarkable how the simple, modest-**_ She looked around while tying her tie-Blue this time. _ **It was remarkable h-**_ Another pause. _**It was remarkable how the simple, modest elements of Marceline's life so often taken for granted would become the catalyst for an entirely new life.**_

 _ **Marceline ran for the for the bus, her stiff leather shoes making a terrible squeaking sound as they flexed against the asphalt. And though this was an extraordinary day, a day to be remembered for the rest of Marceline's life, Marceline just thought it was a Wednesday.**_

"I'm sorry did you hear that?" Marceline asked a woman standing next to her after she took the apple out of her mouth. The woman chose to ignore her. "Did you hear it? 'Marceline just thought it was a Wednesday'?" She asked again. The woman next to her was a foreigner it seems, her accent a bit weird. French? Perhaps. "Don't worry it is Wednesday." The woman answered her, not without casting a strange look in her direction and shuffling a bit to create more distance between them.

Marceline got closer to the woman, asking for a third time "N-No, did you-did you hear it? 'Marceline just thought it was a Wednesday'?" "Who's Marceline?" "I-I'm Marceline" The woman rolled her eyes "Marceline, it's okay, it's Wednesday." The woman rolled her shoulder before looking away, signaling the end of the conversation.

* * *

 _ **Marceline couldn't concentrate on her work, she ignored her co-workers, her thoughts were scattered, her mind elsewhere.**_ When one of her co-workers asked one of his usual math questions, she answered him wrong the first time, before she knew, thanks to the voice that she was wrong, and quickly corrected herself to him.

She was in the archive room, putting away files, when her friend and co-worker Jake came around chuckling, heading towards her. When he saw her lost in thought however, he stopped. "Dude? You okay?"

"Jake I'm being followed." She whispered to him, he looked behind him then back at her "How are you being followed you're not moving." She looked around "It's by a voice." She whispered again, calmly and still somewhat dazed. "What?" Jake inquired, "I'm being followed by a woman's voice." She said, "Oh. Okay. Uhh, what is she saying?" He asked her, "She's narrating." She said, a little louder this time "Oh. Marceline you're just standing still what is she narrating?" This was getting even more ridiculous. "No, no! I had to stop filing. Watch, watch. Listen, listen..." she slowly slid the files she had on top of the box into the box itself, when the voice spoke again. _**The sound the paper made against the folder had the same tone as a wave, scraping against sand. And when Marceline thought about it, she listened to enough waves everyday to constitute what she imagined to be a deep and endless ocean.**_

"Did you hear that?"

"You mean you filing?"

"No, no! the voice!"

"No." Jake shook his head while looking at her like she was crazy, and she probably was at this rate.

"Sometimes I do imagine a deep and endless ocean." She said, daydreaming.

"What ocean?" the frown on his face deepened.

"The one made by the- forget it." a woman came in handing both the workers files, Jake took a look at them, deciding which one he would take and gave Marceline another. "I think you should take the baker."

She nodded, the man smiled once and nodded before heading back.

* * *

"Ugh. You... _miscreant_!" A woman slamming the dough yelled at Marceline.

"I understand." She closed her eyes, nodding at the woman calmly.

"Oh, go to hell! tax woman!" The baker yelled at her, causing all the people at the bakery/café she had to start yelling at Marceline.

"Listen is there somewhere else we could take about this?" Marceline inquired, somehow keeping her temper in check. Guess all those years counting and filing made her calmer. Go figure.

"Uhh..No? We're going to talk about this right here." The shorter woman said to her, mocking Marceline. She seemed like a nice girl, it was just Marceline's rotten luck that she was a tax woman.

"Okay, it says here that you only paid part of your taxes for last year. Looks like only 78%"

The woman nodded, "Yep" she added, with pride twinkling in her eyes.

"So you did it on purpose?" Marceline asked, feeling her head throb.

"Yep." The woman smiled again

"So you must've been expecting an audit." She grit her teeth, still keeping her temper in check.

The woman went to the oven as a timer rang, "I was expecting a fine or a sharp reprimand. Listen, the reason I didn't pay is because I'm not a big fan of the percentage for national defense and corporal bailouts. So I didn't pay those taxes."

"Miss Butler what you're describing is anarchy. Are you an anarchist?"

"Are you asking if I'm a member of-"

"Of the anarchist group, yes." Marceline interrupted her.

"You mean they anarchists have a group? they assemble? wouldn't that completely defeat the purpose?" she asked, sarcastically.

 _ **It was difficult for Marceline to imagine miss Butler as a revolutionary.** _ "Oh not now, please." Marceline groaned as the voice filled her ears. _**Her thin arms hoisting protest signs**_ What?" Bonnibel asked, smiling smugly "Huh?" Marceline responded, dazed. "Nothing." she said as he eyes followed Bonnie's movements. _**Her long shapely legs dashing from tear gas, Marceline wasn't prone to fantasies and so she tried her best to remain professional. But of course, failed.**_ Marceline stared as Bonnibel licked her fingers and wiped away sweat before it went inside her shirt and between her breasts. _**She couldn't help but imagine miss Butler stroking the side of her face with the soft blade of her finger. She couldn't help but imagine her immersed in a tub, shaving her legs. And she couldn't help but imagine her naked, stretched across her bed.**_

Marceline kept staring at Bonnibel's breasts, despite the woman calling her twice now.

"Miss Abadeer."

"Yes, what is it..?" she said lowly, still staring at the other woman's breasts.

"You're staring at my tits." Bonnibel couldn't help being rude, that was outrageous, and Abadeer didn't seem to be someone who listened easily.

Marceline was pulled away from her daze and groaned, looking at Bonnibel's face "Uh, I was? Ugh I don't think I was. Sorry, I'm having issues today I'll uhh- I'll be back on Tuesday." Marceline rushed out of the café. Only to hear the voice again.

"SHUT UP!" she yelled, when the voice had expressed that she was cursing the heavens, she commented on how she was cursing the voice itself and not the heavens before heading quickly to her home, ignoring the glances she got.

* * *

The next couple of days had been wasted in going to different therapists, the only one that truly gave Marceline a useful idea is the woman who said that "maybe you should go to someone who's specialized in literature." right after the therapist declared Marceline as having schizophrenia. She had thought about it, but no, that definitely was not it. She wasn't crazy.

Marceline's watch started making awful noises and glowing repeatedly for no reason when the voice spoke again stating that the watch was trying to tell her something, and destiny had it so miss Butler would walk right by Marceline, neither noticing the other. That's when Marceline's glowing wrist watch stopped completely.

She sighed, asking for the time and adjusting the watch again _**Thus, Marceline's watch thrust her into the path of fate. Little did she know that this simple, seemingly innocuous act, would result in her imminent death.**_

"What?! _what_?! _why_?! Why my death?! Hello?! Excuse me?! _when_?! How imminent?!" Marceline yelled at the sky, now angry and frustrated, emotions boiling inside of her. She went back home, searching it to no avail for a trace of the voice, she repeated her daily actions, brushing her teeth, tying her tie, but the voice hadn't spoken.

"So you're the woman who called me about the narrator."

"Yes." Marceline said briefly

"And this narrator said you're gonna die. How much time has he given you?"

" _She_ didn't say, I don't know."

"She...Hmm..So are you crazy?"

"No."

"Would you believe me if I said you were gonna die?"

"No!"

"Why?"

"Because I don't know you!" Marceline all but yelled, frustration boiling inside of her, making it harder for her to concentrate.

"How many stairs are in the hallway out there?"

"Huh?"

"You were counting them."

"No I wasn't." Marceline frowned.

"Sure. So, you don't know this narrator, what does she say?"

"She knows an awful deal about me."

"That you hate your job? Most Americans would say that's the first thing they hate, then it's traffic then not finding their socks you get me? Finn Mertins by the way."

"Yes, but she knows a whole lot of detail more than just me hating my job. Marceline Abadeer, a pleasure."

Finn went inside his office, pouring a cup of coffee for himself, before looking at Marceline again "Well I'm afraid I can't help you." he said in a bored voice. "I specialize in literature not crazy." He chuckled to himself. "You should keep a journal or something, write down what she says." Taking another sip before he put his mug down.

"I can't even remember anything, all I remember is ' Little did she know that this simple, seemingly innocuous act, would result in her imminent death.'" She sighed before she looked at Finn, whose posture changed.

"What?"

"Little did she know that this simple, seemingly innocuous act, would result in her imminent death."

"Did you say ' _Little did she know'_? I have written about 'Little did she know' I had an entire seminar about 'little did she know'. Son of a bitch, Marceline. 'Little did she know' means there's something you don't know, did you know that?"

"I want you to come back on Friday..No, 'imminent' you could be dead by Friday, come back again tomorrow."

"But you just said-You said you can't help me." Marceline looked at the man, frowning.

"Maybe I can after all." He smiled. Marceline smiled back before exiting and taking her usual bus to go back home.

Sitting in the bus, Marceline heard the voice again, she reached for her bag and got out a pen and a notebook, writing down what the voice was saying. She whipped her head around when she heard Bonnibel Butler's name being mentioned, and what do you know? The woman was actually ascending the steps of the bus.

"Hey." She looked up from her seat at the Pink haired woman, her hair must've been blonde, because the color was too strong for it to have been black.

"Hi." Bonnibel said briefly, pursing her lips and looking down at Marceline, scanning her with her blue eyes before shuffling away.

"Would you like a seat?"

"No thanks." Bonnibel responded again

"Well, there are 11 empty ones." Marceline commented again, Bonnie ignored her, but it wasn't long before the bus jerked, making Bonnie sit down against her will.

"Are you okay?!" Marceline shouted at the woman, concern apparent in her features.

"I'm fine, don't worry." Bonnibel said softly, no doubt noticing the sincerity in Marceline's expression.

"How are you?" Marceline asked

"I'm lousy, I'm being audited ." Bonnibel said with a fake smile, making Marceline nod and mutter "of course."

"By a real creep, too." The smile dropped now, and she regarded Marceline coldly.

"I think I owe you an apology. IRS agents, we're not tested to have good manners so..I apologize..I o-ogled you. Sorry." Marceline stammered, blushing.

Bonnibel nodded, smiling faintly "Okay. Apology accepted. But only because you stammered."

 _ **Marceline nervously made small talk.**_

"You have very straight teeth." She frowned at herself after a moment.

 _ **Very small talk.**_

"Thanks. They're real." Bonnie nodded

 _ **Marceline quickly calculated the odds of making an ass of herself in ratio of the amount of time she stayed to chat. She was elated, and surprised by her somewhat flirtatious encounter with miss Butler. So elated, she exited the bus a good 27 blocks too early and would now have to walk.**_

The woman's eyes widened and she tried to catch up to the bus again but the driver wouldn't have it, he ignored her and kept driving, she cursed her fate and her shyness.

"It look like our narrator hasn't killed you yet." Finn said, putting his hand in his pockets.

"Nope, not yet." Marceline sat down, telling Finn about Bonnibel. He listened with interest and when she finished, he had an idea in mind.

"I think you need to establish whether this story is a comedy or a tragedy. That will decide your fate. Usually if it's a tragedy, you die, if it's a comedy, something funny happens and you move on. That thing you had with this Butler girl, the encounter. develop that." Marceline nodded eagerly.

"Miss Abadeer!" Bonnibel yelled with fake enthusiasm

"You know you can call me Marceline." She said, trying to smile.

"Yeah, I know. I just don't want to."

Marceline marked that as a tragedy.

When she followed Bonnie up the stairs to get her tax files, she had a hard time not staring at her ass.

"What's this?" Marceline asked when Bonnie placed a box full of papers in front of her.

"My files. My tax files." Bonnie smiled at Marceline, again, mocking her.

"You keep your files like this?" Marceline asked, horror taking over her features.

"No, no, I'm quite organized. I did this just to mess with you." She smiled again before waving and going back down.

Marceline sighed. She spent all day organizing the files and making sure that everything was in order and she was exhausted. She headed down the stairs, noticing that Bonnie was baking again.

"Well...Goodnight." She called to her, in a small, insecure voice.

"Do you want a cookie?" Bonnibel asked softly, Marceline shook her head "I don't like cookies."

Bonnie shook her head and chuckled "What is _wrong_ with you?! Didn't you mother ever make you cookies and milk after a long, hard day?"

"My mother died when I was very young." Marceline said softly, making Bonnie frown "Oh..I'm sorry to hear. Sit down."Marceline recognized it as an order, so she obliged, Bonnibel got a plate and filled it with cookies, then she put then in front of Marceline along with a glass of chocolate milk.

"Not sure if you like normal milk or not." Bonnie said

"Thanks, I don't." Marceline smiled and took one of the cookies, taking a bite, her eyes widening.

"These are amazing!" she exclaimed, making Bonnie laugh, it was music to her ears. She drank a little bit of chocolate milk before putting it down, Bonnie insisting she takes the cookies with her.

"I'll purchase them." Marceline said

"What? No!"

"No, really it's alright, I'll purchase them." Marceline said once again

"Get out." Bonnie said, frowning deeply. At first Marceline didn't understand what she did wrong, but after a moment it clicked.

"You baked those cookies for me, didn't you?" at Bonnie's lack of answer, Marceline confirmed. "You were just trying to be nice and I totally blew it." She got out her notebook and marked another tragedy, that made for a total 138, and only four for comedy.

"This may sound like gibberish to you but..I think I'm in a tragedy." Marceline said, Bonnie only nodded.

* * *

"I totally blew the tragedy/comedy thing, in fact I think she likes me even less." Marceline said to Finn

"I know, it's great! you proved something else entirely, the voice doesn't control you. Tomorrow, don't do anything, just sit on your couch or something."

"I can't believe I'm saying this: but, what about work?"

"Call them today and tell them you're not going, simple." Finn smiled.

Marceline contemplated it then did as Finn said, she spent the whole morning on her couch, not even changing the channels, only going to the bathroom once.

It seemed the national geographic channel was a pain in the ass.

Her watch glowed, making frantic noises, it wouldn't stop no matter what she did, it was then that the wall across from her collapsed. She screamed, pushing herself against the corner.

"What do you think you're doing?!" she yelled at the construction workers

"What are _you_ doing?!"

"I live here!"

"Oh. Oops. We got the wrong apartment."

Marceline's anger flared.

* * *

"And this is your room."

"Thank you so much, Jake. I'm terribly grateful-" Jake cut her off with a hug, she hugged back.

"You're my man, my homeboy, my main dude! hahaha, it's no problem, Marceline." She smiled.

* * *

"That's her."

"Hm?"

"That's the narrator." She pointed at the TV.

"Crap." Finn said "Flame Princess?"

"That's her name?!"

"Pen name, she never actually revealed her real name. She also only writes tragedies. She kills all of her main characters."

"What?!"

"She kills them. The heroes."

"No, no, no, no! what am I supposed to _do_?!" Marceline exclaimed.

"Well, there is no way you could stop it, we've already tested that. You have no control over your fate. My advice? Live the rest of your days, spend them on an adventure or something." He clapped her shoulder, she froze.

The first thing Marceline did that week was buy a guitar.

The second thing she did was quit her job.

The third thing...

"Miss Butler! Miss Butler!" she ran to the woman, a box in hand.

"Miss Abadeer! Hi!" Bonnie said, this time it seemed genuine.

"I got you these." She thrust the box at her, yet Bonnie didn't take it.

"So you don't accept gifts yet you give them? that seemed very inconsistent, miss Abadeer."

"Yes, very inconsistn-" Marceline began before Bonnie interrupted her "I'll purchase them!" she used her own words against her.

"What are they? Bonnie inquired.

"Flowers." Marceline answered, Bonnie froze, looking at her.

"...You carried them all the way here?" Bonnie's feelings were clashing.

"Miss Butler. I've been odd, and I know you know I've been odd...But, I want you."

Bonnie's heart leaped in her throat, she asked softly, barely above a whisper "..I want you."

"There are so many reasons, so many influences in my life that are telling me I shouldn't do this, but..I want you. I don't care. I want you." Marceline repeated, her heart beating frantically.

Bonnie stared at Marceline like she grew a second head, but inside she was dying-In a good way of course.

"Do you mind carrying them for a little more? My house is just around the corner." Marceline gulped and nodded, when they did reach Bonnie's place, she was forced by her to go up. They had dinner together, Marceline insisted on helping her do the dishes, but instead the woman made her sit on the couch, a guitar next to her.

Bonnie noticed her staring at it and she inquired "do you play?" Marceline looked up, shaking her head. "A little. I only know one song."

"Aww! come on play it! I swear I won't laugh." Bonnibel insisted.

"Nah, maybe some other time." Marceline looked at her again.

"Okay." She smiled reassuringly.

Bonnibel was doing the dishes, taking a few minutes longer than what she'd promised to come back, Marceline took another glance at the guitar before she stretched her fingers and grabbed it, placing it on her lap and giving an experimental strum, realising it was tuned, she started playing, and that's when Bonnie heard it:

" When I was a young girl, my daddy he said to me:  
There's only one girl in the world for you  
And she probably lives in Tahiti  
I'd go the whole wide world  
I'd go the whole wide world  
Just to find her

Or maybe she's in the Bahamas  
Where the Caribbean sea is blue  
Weepin' in the tropical night  
Because nobody's told her 'bout you

I'd go the whole wide world  
I'd go the whole wide world  
Just to find her

I'd go the whole wide world  
I'd go the whole wide world  
To find out where they hide her

I'd go the whole wide world  
I'd go the whole wide world  
Just to find her

Why am I hanging around in the rain out here  
Tryin' to think of a girl  
Why are my eyes fillin' up with these lonely tears  
When there's girls all over th-"

Maybe it was because her eyes were closed, or maybe she was just too immersed in the song, but Marceline had no idea Bonnie was watching her when she was pulled into a passionate kiss by the other woman, Bonnie sighed into her mouth, wrapping her arms around Marceline's neck, Marceline threw the guitar on the ground softly, just enough so it wouldn't get damaged.

"Miss Butler, I-"

"I know. I want you too." Bonnie's lips were on Marceline again in an instant, and in that night she learned what falling in love was like.

 _ **Marceline's life was filled with moments, both significant and mundane. But to Marceline, those moments remained entirely indistinguishable, except for this. As Bonnie let out a soft sigh and repositioned herself against her, Marceline knew somewhere in her heart that this was one of the significant moments. She knew Bonnie was falling in love with her**_.

Spending the next few days with Bonnie made Marceline think over the subject of her death, she was determined not to let it happen and so she contacted some of her old friends, obtained the author's name and her number.

Meanwhile, Phoebe Prince was still typing, her phone rang for the first time when she typed it.

Then a second time.

Then a third.

She gasped, running towards the phone and picking it up, shooing her assistant.

"Hello? Phoebe Prince? I'm Marceline Abadeer."

"Is this a joke?"

"No, I brush my teeth 76 times-" Phoebe gasped again before Marceline could continue, throwing the phone down.

Kate opened the door "Hello." she smiled. "I'm Phoebe's assistant."

"Hey, I'm her main character." Marceline almost chuckled.

She walked until she was standing in front of a redhead

"Hey, I'm-"

"Marceline Abadeer." Phoebe stared in awe.

"My, your hair, your shoes, your fingers!" Phoebe exclaimed again.

" _WHAT_?! what do you mean you wrote it already?!" Marceline slammed her hands on the desk, exasperated.

"I'm sorry I don't know how this works! I just wrote it, I didn't type it."

Their voices kept rising in volume, until Kate interrupted them, clearing her throat.

"Let her read it."

That's why she was sitting on the bus right now, she had read the book, she knew what was going to happen. And she made a decision to live out the two days she had left along with Bonnie.

"I read your book." She handed it to Phoebe, "It's amazing. Keep writing. Really." Her voice cracked at the last part, then she took off. Phoebe tried calling her but hesitated, and didn't actually utter her name.

Now, Marceline was laying in bed, tangled with Bonnie.

"Hey, I wanna tell you a secret." Marceline whispered in Bonnie's ear before kissing her cheek.

"Hmm, what is it?" Bonnie hummed in delight, wrapping her arms around Marceline's middle.

"I adore you." Marceline had said it with such love and ADORATION, Bonnie's heart started racing, even though they have been familiar for a while now.

"I adore you too." She said slowly, before she kissed Marceline passionately.

A boy was driving his bicycle around when he fell down in the middle of the road, Marceline along with several people on the sidewalk went to help him. But she was the only one left on the road when the bus hit her. Her head hit the ground, cracking her skull, she fell unconscious.

Bonnie woke up to find Marceline, not by her side, she called her name but there was no response, that's when she got a call on her cellphone.

"Well, miss Abadeer, you are one lucky lady. 3 broken bones in your leg, both arms broken, a fractured skull, and several ribs broken as well. But here you are, still alive. Ironically, it was a shard of your watch that saved you." The doctor went on and on about how it was a miracle and started talking science which made no sense to Marceline, she was strong at Math, not Biology.

"Doctor, miss Abadeer has a visitor." A nurse said.

"Oh, sure."

Bonnie rushed in "Oh Marceline!" She said before proceeding to shover Marceline with kisses.

"I'm alright, I'm alright, I'm okay."

"No you're not, look at this" She gestured at Marceline state before asking her what happened

"There was a little boy in front of the bus, I had to help him."

"My, you're so brave." Bonnie kissed Marceline again.

* * *

"I just couldn't do it. I couldn't kill her knowing she was real." Phoebe said.

"I know, it was the right thing to do." Kate said, rubbing Phoebe's shoulder.

This was a story about a young woman named Marceline Abadeer. And her wrist watch.


End file.
